Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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