Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
