I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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