Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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