is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
