Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
