OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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