Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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