I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
