Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
