Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
