I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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