I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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