This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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