Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
