: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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