How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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