you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
