I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
