I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
