Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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