i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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