BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
