So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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