I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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