problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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