I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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