He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
