Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
