i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
