I need help removing her.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
