Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
