sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
