trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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