I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
