haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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