My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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