If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
