I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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