So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
NoShamevember. You game?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
