Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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