The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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