I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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