My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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