twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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