So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
