dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
