my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
