One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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