Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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