hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
