you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how do flat chested girls get laid?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't want my vagina anymore.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
