mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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