I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
