Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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